I’ve now been to the gym a grand total of 2 times since the 5th of April. I went last week, against better judgement and I have suffered for it the entire week. Weeks ago I managed to attract EBV or Glandular Fever as it’s better known. Talk about feeling not only wiped out – I’ve felt entirely washed out for days now.
I’ve also had my first proper period in 5-6 years and some of that is likely to have contributed to my feeling so utterly washed and wiped out. Yesterday I could barely talk at times such was the agony in my jaw, gums and ears. I spent the majority of my day in silence as my hearing was exceptionally sensitive. My shoulder and knee joints feel like a jack hammer is drilling / pounding into the very core of the joint.
My beloved cat and I went for a walk out in the rain. I think for once, I actually needed it way more than my cat. Sometimes the pain in my joints is so unbearable that I get to the point where I want to smash my legs or my back into a wall to defer the pain. I was feeling like that this morning. When the pain is that bad, nothing I can do will help relieve it. Laying down won’t help. Sitting up won’t help. Sitting up with my feet up won’t help. Sitting / laying surrounded / supported with pillows and cushions won’t help. Although walking does help distract my mind, the moment I’m back home and settle into doing something else or resting etc, the pain my knees and feet is back almost immediately. I find that extremely difficult to cope with when the pain is that bad. Today, it’s that bad.