1st smallfeather

The chart below is a tool I use as a measure of my progress in terms of having diabetes type 2.  The Diabetes Nurse at my med centre linked me to it when I was at a stage to be asking relevant questions about diabetes.

The first time I was contacted by the Diabetes Nurse to come and meet with her, my HbA1c was at either 45 or 47 and that was a diagnosis of Pre-diabetes.  I have a non fasting blood test every 3 months that measures the amount of glucose throughout the previous 3 months.

The highest my HbA1c climbed to was 59.  Much like my weight over the years, I did not have much hope for myself in terms of being able to decrease the number. It’s not like I wanted to live or anything you know? I had envisioned myself taking the long painful route to death via obesity – especially considering I no longer had/have the guts to kill myself using any other method.

ANYways … the HbA1c number has been steadily dropping *gasp over the last year or so.  And more for my own records, I am recording the dates and results here for me to look over from time to time – you know, to have something to admire myself about [insert cheesey grin]

hba1c indicator 01

  • 13/01/2015: HbA1c:58 mmol/mol
  • 10/04/2015: HbA1c:59 mmol/mol
  • 06/05/2015: HbA1c:55 mmol/mol
  • 01/07/2015: HbA1c:54 mmol/mol
  • 21/10/2015: HbA1c:44 mmol/mol
  • 23/03/2016: HbA1c:40 mmol/mol
  • 28/06/2016: HbA1c:36 mmol/mol

Drinking Coke Zero or Pepsi Max instead of the regular sugar loaded versions helped.  As did coming off of a particular medication that I’d been on a form of for many, many years.  Self belief, and having a wrap around team that included Kaiwhakaora Kai, respiratory support, physiotherapy support, diabetes support and a change in GP drastically improved my self worth and gave me a reason to start smiling on the inside again.


It’s startling I realise, to learn that I finally found medical type people who actually helped.me.  They’ve cared so deeply, they’ve loved me, they’ve stayed in contact with me even those who’s services I no longer require, they’ve laughed me and they’ve cried with me.  The biggest healer has been their ability to laugh, cry and share with me some of their own pain.  They have all helped me to know deep down that they weren’t going to allow me to fall through any more cracks in their fucked system.  And in doing so, I found the ray of light in that fuck awful tunnel that kept saying to me “Believe [insert my name].  Believe.”  And I took baby steps towards that light because I had no reason to believe that anyone medical could shut off their training long enough to actually hear that I’m not that dumb myself and that I know a thing or two about myself and about the way my body processes shock, trauma and so forth.  And then a type of partnership formed.  And then I found myself becoming well on all levels and I found myself smiling again and not feeling so fearful about what my future could look like etc.

And now I’m generally more happy than not.