My weight increased by almost 2kg over a 3 week period. I had expected there to have been an increase in my weight and I expected the increase to be around a 5kg gain so I was pleasantly surprised. What I didn’t expect, was to find my old friend, an attitude called “I don’t give a fuck”. And when I began hearing “I don’t give a fuck”, I felt scared. I felt scared. I felt scared.
That old friend of mine (“I don’t give a fuck”), well, she tends to burst forward during times of overwhelming distress and agonising mental and emotional pain. We’ve certainly had a lot of that since the week of Christmas 2015. The ability to ground ourselves was lost on us really. Why on earth would we want to be grounded in order to continue feeling the atrocious amount of pain we were in to begin with I ask!
Well, one of the reasons it’s so important for us to ground ourselves – particularly when so overwhelmingly distressed, is so we can actually deal to the pain and release it – discharge it. That way, we are far from risk of managing our pain via disordered eating.
Kaiwhakaora Kai was and has always been, just wonderfully patient and supportive of us and she was no different this time. She put a referral forward for extra support by way of counselling for us and thankfully the person who assessed us is wanting to work alongside us too week on week off with our sensitive claims therapist.
I, have hope again.