Christmas: I managed very well

1st smallfeather

My food intake over Christmas couldn’t have gone better.  I am so pleased and proud of myself for having better prepared myself mentally before the 25th arrived. I self-talked about things like “just because it’s Christmas doesn’t mean I can indulge and eat myself into a coma” and “do you really want to go to bed bloated and feeling sick and then endure the food hangover the next day?”  I told myself stuff like “you no longer deserve to punish yourself with food” “you are no longer the person you used to be ie an empty shell stuffing herself with food in order to feel some resemblance of being alive”.  And I continued to tell myself such things throughout the 25th and 26th.

I noticed how much better I felt drinking water rather than Coke.  I noticed how much better I felt eating an array of salads with very little meat.  I noticed how fuck awful I felt after demolishing 2 entire large packets of chippies and how I am grateful I had that experience to be able to remember next time, just how fucked my body feels when I feed it crap food.

I also noticed or became aware of how my body kept letting me know it had had enough to eat.  I pushed the limits twice to see if I was right.  I was. My body was protesting and I could feel it doing so!  What an achievement!

One of the topics covered in the Disordered Eating Group surrounded discussion of Claire Newton’s Five communication styles, which has literally saved me, therefore the triggers which would lead me straight to disordered eating have lessened greatly.

I am grateful for the funding received this year to enable the Disordered Eating Group to run for one last time.  I am more in charge of my disordered eating than what I have ever been.